Algorithms, irony and members of the class: Asteroidea

I'm not completely sure what an algorithm is, although it's about rules for solving a problem or something. It's mathematics is what it is and thus shall I remain in the complete and utterly damp darkness of ignorance. But if it is about problem solving then Apple's mathematics loving engineers have fucked up 'cause they've caused a big problem in terms of customer appreciation.

Each day I curse iPod and by extension, Apple (although I love my G5 iMac).

The "shuffle" feature of the iPod is, I'm told, algorithmically driven (ooooh, that turned me on that phrase did). Random selection. Well, it sucks. Today I got three songs from the very same album. In a row. I got two other songs from another album, not in a row. There are entire albums of songs iPod has NEVER played on song shuffle and I have 6 Gordon Lightfoot CDs on my iPod and over the past few months it has played (many times) the same 4 songs from him and that is ALL. I'm giving up on shuffle.

I have no idea if the product development people at Apple used an algorithm to choose the battery supplier for iPod, but they fucked up there too. I get about 1.5 hours max out of my NEW iPod battery. And this is my second iPod. The first was no different. A function of battery technology you say? Hogwash, I say. A colleague at work has sent me a website of a company that sells batteries designed for the iPod. The selling feature? These replacement batteries hold their charge. Wow, what a concept for a portable, electrical device. Batteries that work.

Other things that annoy me about Apple -- their entrenchment against two button mice with scroll wheels. Or the seemingly conspiratorial prohibition against 3rd party suppliers making a radio receiver for the iPod. The mouse thing bugs me 'cause I've got this beautifully designed Apple mouse that I don't use in favour of this ugly, ugly, ugly 3rd party mouse that has a scroll wheel AND, wait for it, two buttons.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I had someone in my life (both when physically present and then as a memory I could not shake) for sometime. He almost had me convinced that irony was bad, despite the fact it has brought me such sheer joy so often in my life. I was thinking of the warm silliness of irony while visiting my mother yesterday. Some examples: 1) My brother to my mother -- "Oh, you're getting better. Damn, now I'm going to have to lie to get more time off work." 2) Me to my mother (my face up close to the side of her head, speaking VERY loudly) -- "Did the stroke affect your hearing Mrs. Heipel?" 3) Me to my mother upon giving her a teddy bear -- "It's very soft Mother, it will help soak up the drool." 4) Another of my brothers to the doctor in the rehab hospital who asked my mother about her memory -- "Oh yah, her memory is just great. Mom, you want an apple?" My mother forgot her bottom denture plate in another hospital.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One of the wonders of having a coral reef aquarium is witnessing the appearance of creatures that just show up. Hitchikers they are called in the hobby. They ride in on the "live rock" or hidden in a coral's branches, or in the wrinkles of a clam's shell. Anyway, I currently have a "bloom" of tiny (measured in mm), spindly, long legged, silver-white starfish. There are perhaps hundreds in the sand now and when the lights go out they make their way up the sides of the glass -- most likely eating the diatom algaes and bacterial mats that collect there as a film before I scrap it off when it gets thick enough to hinder my view. But the starfish are omnivorous and opportunistic feeders as I saw them climb out of the sand and converge on some plankton the fish had missed during a feeding last night. They are almost certainly "brittle stars" given the serpent like characteristics of each of their arms. There is a corner of the tank where the current and flow are low and thus the sandbed likely more energy rich as detrius more readily collects there. At that corner there are so many of these small starfish that with the lights on -- and thus the noctural or shy starfish are hiding, nestled just under the sand -- the sand bed looks like it needs to shave, stubbled with countless ends of tiny starfish arms waving gently with the water movement.