The Stink of a River Dog, or, How Bad Customer Service Proved Advantageous (to the customer!)

Glacier fed, the North Saskatchewan River's water ranks excellent for quality. Before it reaches the city; after which the quality drops some 24%.

By the time the river reaches Edmonton, it no longer looks like its mother is ice. Not exactly a muddy river it does leave a dog that plays in it grimy and a bit green smelling, certainly.

Ruby the Portuguese Annoying Dog loves the river and has in the past couple of weekends started to actually swim, rather than wade, in the big flow. Unlike some breeds of dogs that simply smell like dog (I think labs, for example) Ruby, when she smells bad, smells like whatever it is that's left her filthy. As a puppy it was the shit and piss infused sand of the idiotic fenced dog parks of Toronto (before the move to the open park in Rich,er,Rosedale. Once it was the smell of the bloated (and very dead) possum she rolled in (after eating an about 15 foot rope of entrails she'd pulled from the carcass -- as an aside within an aside, that was the final straw of her zero recall which kept her on the leash for months and lead to the miracle training tool, the e-collar).

In the end, she's a dog and could care less if she smells to high heaven. Without an outside hose, washing a dog is a nightmare, and given I'm cheap the $12 do it yourself wash at Menagerie Pets in Toronto means Ruby has been formally bathed in her 19 months so few times I can recall all of the baths.

Then there's brushing. To start at the end, she has now come to tolerate being brushed, although only if she's allowed to attack and chew the brushes periodically during the exercise. It would be much better, of course, if it, the brushing, wasn't a once a week exercise when nascent matting has had a chance to take hold somewhat.

Add to this shoddy dog hygeneship the feeding of raw meat to a long haired dog (see her muzzle hair length in the last post's photo) and there is at least one glimmer of good dog care here -- I wash my dog's face twice a day. Coddling, you think? Imagine small chunks of ground, raw meat on your couch, having been deposited there when they fell from a dog's beard.

In the last blog's photo you'll also notice what appear to be Princess Leia like masses on either side of her muzzle -- those would be impenetrable mats composed of tangled and loose, but not lost, hair, burs, and raw meat remnants of meals past.

These had to go as they had taken on a smell of their own, riding tandem with the river stink Ruby now wears like a badge.

So I booked a grooming session for Petsmart -- it's cheap, they don't know a thing about PWD haircuts, but hey I just wanted the nice bath and blow dry, the clipped nails (something I've never done, as so much nail wearing down exercise does Ruby get that I'm able to rely on the twice or three times a year grooming nail clipping), even the brushed teeth add on option. I called the store, booked the appointment AND when I suggested I'd have to call my Toronto vet to get the latest Rabies vaccination confirmation was told:

"Oh no, that's not necessary. Has your dog been groomed at a Petsmart before?"

Yes, says me who is then delighted to know the Edmonton location will simply call the Toronto location and there's no need to bug the vet, worry about faxes, etc.

Arrive we do at Petsmart (me with some positive anticipation as I'm looking forward to having a dog whose face doesn't look and smell like the head of a dumpster diving indigent) and are greeted with:

"Oh, how would we get the Toronto phone number for the store???" As the two groomers blather on about the number not being on a list, and the farthest east they have is a store in Saskatoon's number, and, strangely, that the Toronto number wouldn't be in the phone book, I called information on my cell and provide the rocket scientists with the number.

Response:

"Your dog's vaccination certificate has expired."

I explain I have Ruby's rabies tag in the car, but that won't do. Clearly I conclude there's a broad ring of people who share such time stamped dog tags in order to get their dogs' groomed without getting rabies vaccinations... Sigh.

We leave. Then it occurs to me I had Ruby vaccinated before I left for Edmonton and they would have required her new certificate (which I remembered then the Toronto store calling the vet to get as much at the last grooming in Toronto). I call Petsmart in Toronto and remind them of this. Oh, they finally say, "yes, yes, here it is. We were looking at an old record."

By then we've left the groomers and in fact I'm in West Edmonton Mall (Ruby and He Who is Now Landed waiting in the car in the parking lot) picking up the large, large purchase of clothing I'd made at Harry Rosen a couple weeks previous and had left behind for alterations; those now completed.

So, Ruby doesn't get groomed. I take her for a walk this morning and then, at friends', as they're on holiday, pick three quarts of raspberries along the fence line. There Ruby adds some sort of tiny burs in great number to her entire snout and much of one ear, for good measure.

Could this story be any longer?

I shampooed Ruby at the raspberry picking house (they have a hose and a lawn and everything!) and then came home and groomed Ruby's face myself!

Looks grand and I saved myself $100 or so. I decided that when it comes time to groom her generally I'm going to do that myself too -- 'cause if I can get her to sit relatively still while I use scissors and combs/brushes around her mouth and eyes, the rest will be easy with electric clippers. He Who is Now Landed might not be too happy that it'll be the clippers he shaves his head with.

If I do say so myself Ruby looks fab even if her muzzle does look a wee bit asymmetrical. This shot really shows her red highlights, as well (there are red Porties out there). A shame the benefits of the shampooing will last only as long as her evening romp in the river.